Oh Bondi. You beautiful, healthy, colourful, weird place. A place where if you don’t have a beard, a glass of rose, or seven pairs of Nikes, you’re just not doing it right. A place where you have everything you need in the one place, and if you don’t, well it’s just a quick Uber or Suppertime delivery away.
From knowing which areas of Bondi Road are off-limits, to bagsing your favourite table at your favourite bar, here are 24 things that are just saaahhh Bondi that it actually hurts.
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Putting ‘child minding’ as a skill on your resume, because babysitting doesn’t quite sound right as a uni job. Knowing which places on Campbell Parade or Bondi Road are safe to enter. And which are not. Waiting for the call that the local boutique finally has your (or your boyfriend’s) Johnny Depp-inspired flat-brimmed hat in stock. Arguing with your flatmates over who has to brave Harris Farm on a Sunday evening. Then simply shrugging when you have to pay $15 for a small jar of pistachios. Getting to The Anchor as early as possible on a Sunday afternoon so no-one steals your regular table. Doing the same on Sunday mornings for the grassy knoll. The anxiety over choosing the perfect laid back activewear combo for your Saturday morning market visit. Or pretty much only going to the markets just to pat other people’s dogs. Thinking an hour wait for a table at Porch and Parlour is reasonable. Getting an Uber to work when you can’t drive, because the 333 is unbearable just one second past 7:40am. Leaving the house with 15 minutes to get somewhere, then remembering Bondi Road exists and being ridiculously late. Waiting 45 minutes for a table at Harry’s, and remembering when it was a humble hole-in-the-wall next to a Laundromat. Pretending you’re not anything like the people The Bondi Wanker talks about. Dragging your hungover AF behind to Little L Chicken & Burgers for the best ever chicken burger on a Sunday afternoon, and still finding it hard to not call it Olie’s. Making brunch dates but just drinking juice because you only have a $20 and parking will cost you at least $4, so that’s your money gone. Taking your SunnyLife flamingo out for a cruise on a hot day. Laughing away trips to the Northside as a distant memory. Finding the best, nay, the perfect Instagram filter for your picture of Icebergs pool on a Saturday. Getting irrationally fired up when you’ve been searching for a park for 20 minutes and you see at least ten cars chilling in the middle of two perfectly good spots. Seriously considering spending $20 on a small bag of something claiming to be powdered beetroot or liquid kale. Being afraid to venture into the ‘dark side’ of Bondi Junction. You know what I mean. Being completely fine with paying half your monthly paycheque for a shoebox with no balcony and a dodgy stove. Still getting mesmerised by the glorious sunset bouncing off the colourful apartment blocks at North Bondi and remembering why you love this crazy place.Can't get enough of Bondi? Here's the foodie's guide to Bondi and our guide to Bondi's farmers market.
Image credit: Lisa Brooke at Bondi Wholefoods